Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Sex Gives You Energy

Deva Agni, sexual energy is another name for your life force. The word sex has been much maligned, especially by religious groups; but there's nothing wrong with it. Sexual energy is a natural energy: you are born out of it. It is your creative energy. When the painter paints or the poet composes or the musician plays or the dancer dances, these are all expressions of your life force. Not only are children born out of your sexual energy, but everything that man has created on the earth has come out of sexual energy.

Sexual energy can have many transformations: at the lowest, it is biological; at the highest, it is spiritual.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Penis Enlargement & Sex

There’re such a lot of question that a man and a woman are always making about themselves respect to sex, but the most common they make is. He wonders about: “is mine too small, average, big or too big?” shall I use some penis enlargement treatment? She is also wondering sometimes: “am I tight or loose?”…

In a world of where size suppose to be a matter related to status, big cars, houses, meals, and just about everything else, it's hard to stop thinking about whether bigger is actually better for everything. Plus of that men are always trying to make a competitions with each other and it’s the same when it comes to their ability to satisfy women, and unfortunately after years of locker-room comparisons, the go-to source of pride or shame is the size of that with which they're working.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Differences Between Sexual Fantasies

Have you ever given much thought to the differences between the sexual fantasies typically conjured up by men and women? Men, it seems, tend to have more sexual fantasies than women and these are more likely to be paired with masturbation. Men, by nature being visual, are likely to create graphic images of women's sexual bodies and imagine watching them, seducing them or, quite often, being seduced by them. For a male, the story line of a fantasy is usually quite genital and accompanied with explicit visual images.

Women, in general, fantasize less than their male counterparts. Those women who do fantasize are typically less visual in their sexual fantasies, are usually less focused on genitals, and are more likely to construct a story with the emotional feelings of a romantic encounter.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Are You Ready to Live With Him?

Deciding to move in with your lover is an important decision. Often people find that after dating someone for a while and before taking the big plunge of marriage, they would like to spend some time under the same roof to see how well they get along. Other times, couples are not interested in making a lifetime commitment and just want to live together instead of tying the knot. Before going ahead though, there are certain things you need to take into consideration. - Timing is of utmost importance. You and your partner shouldn't make the move in a hurry. Ensure that you both know each other well enough and are ready to take this step.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Are Bisexual People or Not

Bisexuality doesn't really exist. Or, rather, bisexuality is a phase that people eventually grow out of and then pick one side or another.80% of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender. Reality? Yes, bisexual people often have a preference in gender. Whether that preference lasts an hour or a whole lifetime is a matter of the individual. And no, "bisexual" is not a term bisexuals adopt to make them seem more sexually adventurous.

Friday, October 1, 2010

When Marriage Can Last Forever

Marriage can last forever, as many of us saw in the lives of our grandparents, maybe even our parents. However, most of our children today are not being shown that same example. Divorce rates have skyrocketed, with today's standard family being comprised of single parents, stepparents, live-in boyfriends and girlfriends, and practical strangers who move in and out of the children's lives like a passing breeze. This has created an incredibly insecure and unstable feeling for the children who don't know who or what they can depend on. In the day that marriage lasted forever for the majority of couples, there was also less crime, less suicide, less need for welfare, and less violence. The statistics of all of these things and more have increased as the number of people who honor their marriage vows has decreased. This is the world that we are giving to future generations.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Sex Can Benefit The People's Health

The new swine flu, flesh eating bacteria, e-coli at the salad bar, where will it end? Just when you thought science dredged up only bad news comes this from across the Atlantic. Finally, there's proof that sex, and it seems that it's happy, satisfying, monogamous sex we're referring to, actually helps us live longer. In an age of anxiety over health care plans, HMOs, managed care, overpriced insurance and uncertainty out of Washington, it turns out that regular bedroom intimacy with a loving, faithful partner is as salutary as we'd suspected all along. Yes, there will be the naysayers, and those who claim that it's just those randy Brits at it again with their prurient diversions, this time from a laboratory, funded no doubt with cash from their socialized medicine coffers.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Lubricants Can Enhance Your Sex Comfort & Pleasure

No matter what your sexual orientation is, there is a wide variety of things that you can use to enhance your pleasure in the bedroom. Sex toys, massage oils, delay creams, sexy lingerie, adult novelty toys and even a bit of beginner bondage or fetish gear can be used to add that much-needed spice to your sex life. Naturally, when taking advantage of any of these items, the number one thing that you need to take into consideration is whether the product will give you the utmost comfort and increase your sexual pleasure during the sex act.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Healthy & Sexy Relationship

If you have been in a committed relationship for a number of years then you may have felt that things between you and you're partner have become stale. Then here are a few ideas to keep the magic between you and your partner active and fun together for a long time.

As people get older maybe they have had kids and let their bodies get a bit out of shape and maybe feel a little run down then this guide is just for you. Re lighting the spark in a relationship is the best way to keep you alive and revitalized.

The first thing to do is to start to understand what each partner wants from a relationship.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Did You Have a Night Stand

SHOULD YOU HAVE A ONE-NIGHT STAND?
Passionate, reckless, carefree and forbidden, the infamous one-night stand will likely go down in sex history as equally the most celebrated and shamed of all bedroom encounters. So, to decide for yourself, if it's "worth it," just weigh the pros and the cons:

PROS:
Battery-free ecstasy. While sex toys certainly can be a girl's best friend, a real live man is the cat's meow! The one-night stand is designed for pure and simple sexual satisfaction and with all of that self-service you should be able to direct Mr. For the Night right to your 'O'mg spot!

Feel-good fun. Compared to most everything else in your life - work, working out, working out – a one-night stand is good ol' fashioned easy fun!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Sexy Lingerie Can Increase Sex Drive

Sexy lingerie is an easy way to add sizzle to your love life. If you are in a relationship, the benefits of sexy lingerie are obvious. For the single girl, however, a sexy lingerie purchase may seem pointless or even depressing. However, this not need be the case. You can always flatter yourself.

Looking Good, Feeling Good

When you go out, you probably work hard to find the perfect outfit, apply makeup carefully and do your nails. You already know that presenting a great outward appearance is an important part of meeting someone new. However, self-confidence is a big component of attractiveness. Although you may never show off your new sexy lingerie, you know that it is there. Feeling beautiful from the inside out will raise your self-confidence, making you even more attractive to others.

Looking Your Best

The right lingerie can actually serve an important purpose in the look of your outer garments. From push-up bras to smoothing chemises, look for undergarments that flatter your assets and hide your trouble spots. It is amazing how much different the same outfit can look with a brand new set of eye-popping sexy lingerie underneath. Try on different types of intimate apparel and take your time in deciding what is best for your body.

Discovering What You Like

When you are part of a long-term relationship, it is easy to get caught up in making your partner happy. Embrace your single status as an opportunity to get back in touch with your own inner preferences. Maybe your ex liked to see you in body-restraining corsets, while your preference is a more romantic bustier. Or perhaps you developed the habit of sleeping in a chemise, when a babydoll is actually more flattering on your body.

You can shop in anonymity online, allowing your imagination to wander free. You have the time to shop now, without feeling rushed or pressured, so take advantage of it.

You Never Know

Perhaps today it seems unimaginable that you will meet someone. But you never know what tomorrow will bring. Opportunities have a way of finding us when we least expect them. Buy yourself a present of exotic lingerie to ensure that you are prepared when you finally discover Mr. Right.

You have a unique opportunity to shop carefully, take your time and discover the things that truly make you happy. When true love does arise, you will already have a great piece in your lingerie wardrobe.
Sexy Lingerie gets men’s pulses racing!
* Her hands down your pants: The sexy lingerie for men
* Sexy lingerie for brides to be….
* Top lingerie models revealed
* Lingerie to save the disgrace
* The natural bliss of comfort: Sexy Lingerie
* Lingerie Shopping: Find the best for you

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

How to Improve a Sexual Experience

Sex can be wonderful, but it isn't just a physical thing. It needs mood, atmosphere and a connection between the partners for it to be the magical experience we all want it to be.

So what can you do to make sex the magical event you want it to be?

Firstly - don't consume too much food or alcohol beforehand. A romantic but light meal with lots of beautiful flirting and feeding each other will put you both in the mood. Red wine or champagne will make an excellent accompaniment, but only in small doses. You can always punctuate your later love-making with champagne anyway. Involve as many different senses in the meal as you can.

For a truly fabulous sexual experience, it helps if you can be loving and intimate with your partner. Some people will say that the intensity of casual sex is more exciting; however, for a spine-tingling night, the more kissing and gentle contact you can have to contrast with the deep physicality of sex, the better. Light touch, light kissing, soft contact all communicate love as well as lust, and they also prolong and return the foreplay - you can feel like a love-struck teenager touching your loved one's face for the first time all over again. It can be profoundly erotic and can enhance sex greatly.

In touching your partner, forget the usual "rules" of foreplay. Touch should be central to the entire sexual experience, not just the beginning. Light, tiny kisses; circles with your tongue, finger lines down her or his back: use your imagination and your intelligence. Where they clearly respond, you are doing something amazing to them!

Rhythm quietens the mind and allows the body space. The rhythm of your love-making should be whatever pleases you both, but if you want a night of astonishing sex, the rhythm of the experience should be appropriate to the moments and the feelings. Sometimes it could be soft, gentle, loving: at other times riotous. There is no point in changing just for the sake of it, and people do prefer different things, of course: but different types of sex widen and enhance the experience.

Some couples will like to have music on while they are having sex. This is a deeply personal preference. You need to know what you and your partner both like before setting out on your dream night of sex. It's not really the time to experiment with this because it can be really off-putting. So - a few conversations before, a few experiences previously, and when you come to a night you want to be the best ever, you know what you want.

What about clothing? A negligee? A sexy thong? Nothing? What will enhance things for you most of all?

Finally, one thing that many couples forget when making love is talk. Talking together during your experience, talking beautifully, poetically (reading some poetry even), developing your love through words will all make your night something truly special. Part of this is sharing fantasies, which can bring so much more both to a night and to a relationship. The trust you show when discussing fantasies will bring you together more than you can imagine.

Sex should be one of life's real pleasures. So make the most of it and please your partner and yourself, and you will do your relationship so much good in the process.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Toxic Love

One of the biggest problems with relationships in this society is that the context we approach them from is too small. We were taught that getting the relationship is the goal.

It starts in early childhood with Fairy Tales where the Prince and the Princess live happily-ever-after. It continues in movies and books where "boy meets girl" "boy loses girl" "boy gets girl back" - the music swells and the happy couple ride off into the sunset. The songs that say "I can't smile without you" "I can't live without you" "You are my everything" describe the type of love we learned about growing up - toxic love - an addiction with the other person as our drug of choice, as our Higher Power.

Any time we set another human being up to be our Higher Power we are going to experience failure in whatever we are trying to accomplish. We will end up feeling victimized by the other person or by our self - and even when we feel victimized by the other person we blame our self for the choices we made. We are set up to fail to get our needs met in Romantic Relationships because of the belief system we were taught in childhood and the messages we got from our society growing up.

There is no goal to reach that will bring us to happily-ever after. We are not incomplete until we find our soul mate. We are not halves that cannot be whole without a relationship.

True Love is not a painful obsession. It is not taking a hostage or being a hostage. It is not all-consuming, isolating, or constricting. Believing we can't be whole or happy without a relationship is unhealthy and leads us to accept deprivation and abuse, and to engage in manipulation, dishonesty, and power struggles. The type of love we learned about growing up is an addiction, a form of toxic love.

Here is a short list of the characteristics of Love vs. toxic love (compiled with the help of the work of Melody Beattie & Terence Gorski.)

1. Love - Development of self first priority.
Toxic love - Obsession with relationship.

2. Love - Room to grow, expand; desire for other to grow.
Toxic love - Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of need seen as proof of love (may really be fear, insecurity, loneliness)

3. Love - Separate interests; other friends; maintain other meaningful relationships.
Toxic love - Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends, interests.

4. Love - Encouragement of each other's expanding; secure in own worth.
Toxic love - Preoccupation with other's behavior; fear of other changing.

5. Love - Appropriate Trust (i.e. trusting partner to behave according to fundamental nature.)
Toxic love - Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition; protects "supply."

6. Love - Compromise, negotiation or taking turns at leading. Problem solving together.
Toxic love - Power plays for control; blaming; passive or aggressive manipulation.

7. Love - Embracing of each other's individuality.
Toxic love - Trying to change other to own image.

8. Love - Relationship deals with all aspects of reality.
Toxic love - Relationship is based on delusion and avoidance of the unpleasant.

9. Love - Self-care by both partners; emotional state not dependent on other's mood.
Toxic love - Expectation that one partner will fix and rescue the other.

10. Love - Loving detachment (healthy concern about partner, while letting go.)
Toxic love - Fusion (being obsessed with each other's problems and feelings.)

11. Love - Sex is free choice growing out of caring & friendship.
Toxic love - Pressure around sex due to insecurity, fear & need for immediate gratification.

12. Love - Ability to enjoy being alone.
Toxic love - Unable to endure separation; clinging.

13. Love - Cycle of comfort and contentment.
Toxic love - Cycle of pain and despair.

Love is not supposed to be painful. There is pain involved in any relationship but if it is painful most of the time then something is not working.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship - it is natural and healthy. There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship that will last forever - expecting it to last forever is what is dysfunctional. Expectations set us up to be a victim - and cause to abandon ourselves in search of our goal.

If we can start seeing relationships not as the goal but as opportunities for growth then we can start having more functional relationships. A relationship that ends is not a failure or a punishment - it is a lesson.

As long as our definition of a successful relationship is one that lasts forever - we are set up to fail. As long as we believe that we have to have the other in our life to be happy, we are really just an addict trying to protect our supply - using another person as our drug of choice. That is not True Love - nor is it Loving.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

How to Attract Sexy Women

Every man wants a sexy woman. The problem is that sexy women get hit on all the time and have a ton of options. To succeed with these hot babes, you have to find a way to stand out from the crowd. Here are 10 ways to attract sexy women that will get you going in the right direction and help you make a big impact on the hottie you want.

Practice being interesting, funny, challenging, and unpredictable in situations where you're seeing the same woman over and over, such as at your favorite coffee shops, restaurants, grocery stores, etc. When you tease and bust on a woman whom you're not interested in, and continue to keep the sexual tension up, other women will pick up on your confident vibe and wonder why you’re not flirting with them.

Sexy women will never admit it, but they love it when you tease and bust on them like there’s no tomorrow. Why? Because you're activating powerful sexual drives and female emotions that most men will never trigger inside of her -- and she'll be grateful to you for it. Even though an outsider might look at an evening that you spend with her and say: "He didn't treat her very well; he was difficult, very challenging and not complimentary at all,” at the end of the evening the woman you're with will go home with a deep, profound feeling of inner satisfaction that she won't be able to describe. So take the time to learn.

Sexy women get 50 e-mails from guys every day. If you want to stand out, you need to make fun of them. Instead of writing the typical “You sound very interesting, we have a lot in common…” try something like “Hey, I don't think that this picture is really you. What, did you go to the mall and get one of those glamour shots done or something? Do you have a real picture? Like you at home on your Stairmaster or something? Or do you even work out? OK, stop trying to fool all of us guys and let's see what you really look like." Nice is boring, and it's never more boring than when it's online -- in a place where there are a million other "nice" guys who have zero personalities chasing after her.

Regardless of the situation, a sexy woman wants you to lead the way. You're going to have to take the next step in some way. Don't wait around and hope something happens. There's always a smooth, interesting way to take the ball and move forward with it. If you don't, you'll spend many of your evenings snuggling up to the TV.

Most guys miss the point entirely when a woman starts testing them. Instead of turning up the volume and hitting the ball right back over the net twice as fast, most guys just crumble and lose all the energy, sexual tension and chemistry that was in the situation. When a woman throws down the challenge, or starts to test you, instead of responding by saying: "OK, whatever you want," you need to create even more tension, turn it up and understand how to amplify the sexual tension and attraction in the situation. If you don’t understand tests, you'll just misinterpret everything that happens and miss all your opportunities.

Sexy women aren't attracted to Wussies. So how could you characterize a Wuss? A Wussy is a guy who is weak, indecisive and insecure. A Wussy isn't in control, and he doesn't make decisions. Women feel attraction for men who demonstrate the qualities of a leader. How could you characterize a leader? A leader is a man who is in control of the situation, and who makes decisions and follows through on them without needing approval from others. Be a leader -- sexy women will love you for it.

How do women know if a man is interested in them for a "long-term" relationship or if he's just interested in dating casually? The trigger for this is how often you see them and how often you call them. Of course, there's more to it, like whether or not you buy gifts, talk about how you feel, ask her to be your girlfriend, etc. But if you want to just see a woman casually and not have her become "hooked" on you, then don't call her more than a couple of times a week, and don't see her more than once a week -- maybe twice sometimes.

I can remember when I used to call women too often, and if they didn't show up, I'd get upset and try to set up another date with them, etc. Of course, they'd usually play hard to get, and wind up thinking that I was a Wussy because I just accepted their flaky behavior. Well, after I stopped calling back women who flaked and basically stopped chasing women, I had the strangest thing happen; I had women call me -- sometimes weeks later. When a woman flakes, don’t worry about it. Just move on. She'll probably start flirting with you again when the timing’s right.

Give her space, If a woman says: "I need time to get to know myself" or "I need to find myself" or any variation of this common theme, it usually means you were acting like a Wuss, being clingy and generally not a challenge anymore. If you become too predictable, too involved, too needy, too Wuss-ish, and too "head over heels" too early in the relationship, it will drive a woman away. Sexy women have guys chasing them far more than the average or below-average women. You need to do something different, while at the same time being attractive. Probably the best thing you can do when you finally meet a really great girl is call her half as much as you normally would, and give her twice the space. Think about it.

I get so many e-mails from guys who have met a great girl, but they screwed it up because they made her "too important" mentally. In other words, when things started to get difficult, instead of taking the attitude of "next," which creates all kinds of attraction, they cling and do exactly the things that cause the woman to hit the road for good.

It’s much better to have the mental attitude of "I'm going to enjoy this woman's company for as long as it stays a good thing. The moment that she becomes a strain or a pain I'm out of here. I don't need problems or drama in my life.” The first response to this is usually: "But this woman is special. She's not like other women. She's the one." If she's the one, then all the more reason to take this attitude. It’ll do a lot of good things for your success with women.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Homosexuality and the Moral Failure of Higher Education

Recently, Kenneth Howell, an adjunct professor who worked for Newman Center at the University of Illinois in Champaign/Urbana, was told by his department chair that he could no longer teach there. His offense: explaining and clarifying the Catholic moral teaching on homosexuality while teaching a class on Catholicism.

A couple of students complained to the department chair with the usual charge: his moral reasoning is hate speech that creates a hostile environment for gays and lesbians.

Meanwhile, Jennifer Keeton, a student at Augusta State University in Georgia, was forced to undergo "sensitivity training." Her offense: believing Christian teaching on homosexuality. She was told that if she did not change her moral beliefs and affirm homosexuality, she could not graduate with a degree in counseling.

Note the difference. Ken Howell did not insist that students believe or affirm the reasoned Catholic arguments against the moral legitimacy of homosexual acts. Rather, he required students who had chosen to taken an elective course on Catholicism to know and engage those arguments.

But the faculty of the Counselor Education Program at Augusta State apparently requires their students to agree with them. Students must affirm—or at least learn how to appear to affirm—homosexual sex. And the faculty at Augusta State seems to think nothing of intimidating students to ensure that they comply.

The juxtaposition captures one of the most glaring moral failures of higher education in America today, a failure that should be evident to most of us, no matter what we think about the moral status of homosexual acts. When it comes to sexual liberation, a culture of intimidation has taken the place of reason, debate, and civility. The otherwise favored ideal of academic freedom suddenly disappears, to be replaced with other absolutes that seem to demand intellectual submission.

If, like Howell and Keeton, you make any suggestion that homosexual acts are immoral, you are censured and your career is threatened. If you're a pro-gay professor or department, you can censure and intimidate as much as you like.

This seems an impossibly simplistic generalization, but I can’t see how to avoid it. My experience is of course limited, but from what I’ve seen Augusta State is not unique. Professors like those in Augusta State’s counseling department think nothing of withholding credentials and destroying careers, and administrators support them in creating this culture of intimidation.

Advancing the cause of sexual liberation is not negotiable in most of American academia. Graduate students have told me that being labeled as “anti-gay” means getting blackballed when entering the job market. And not just at secular schools. A whisper campaign (“he’s anti-gay”) against a recent candidate for a job in the Notre Dame philosophy department apparently succeeded.

People can be very cruel when they imagine their beliefs to be self-evident, which happens when all dissent is silenced and censured. In a group-think atmosphere, those who disagree are seen as unthinking "fundamentalists" or hateful "bigots." Even the most highly qualified and nuanced moral statements about homosexuality will be denounced as “homophobic” if they fall short of a full and unqualified affirmation of homosexuality.

Sexual liberation seems to have become the great moral cause. It is true that American schools expect ideological homogeneity on all manner of topics, and being pro-life or a person of faith—or even a Republican—can get you in trouble. But homosexuality alone seems to call forth the full repressive power of educational institutions.

On the surface, the culture of intimidation would seem a case of moral passion fused with institutional power. The reasoning goes like this: Gays and lesbians have been an oppressed minority, as blacks have been, and as we resisted racism by banning it where we could, so we should use our positions to ban prejudice against gays and lesbians and to promote equality and inclusion.

However, I’m not convinced. Traditional moral judgments aren’t like the old racists theories. They concern behaviors—the usual focus of moral judgments—not the ontological status of persons as genetically inferior.

I do not dismiss the moral passion felt by many proponents of sexual liberation, misguided as it may be. But I look elsewhere to explain the culture of intimidation, which seems so out of proportion to the cause and so contradictory to their belief in academic freedom.

Perhaps the force of conscience plays a role. St. Paul wrote that the law is written on the gentile’s heart (Rom 2:15). We are in a certain sense hardwired to recognize certain moral truths, however dimly, and the immorality of homosexual activity is one. Our internal censor, our interior sense of shame and guilt, often limits, restrains, and disciplines us as we try to follow our desires, perhaps especially those for sexual liberation.

Thus the need to use a kind of intellectual Agent Orange to destroy even the slightest judgments of immorality, because they reinforce what the voice of conscience keeps telling us, and what we would like to avoid hearing. Those who say that homosexual acts are immoral are oppressors, because their words—however dispassionate, however well-reasoned, however subtly expressed, however concerned for others—agitate consciences and block the free flow of desire.

Indeed, even those who are diffident are under suspicion, because that voice of conscience needs complete support to be suppressed. In the cause of sexual liberation nothing is acceptable short of full affirmation, or at least a scrupulous silence that expresses no reservations.

Sexual liberation is a Gucci freedom. Upper middle class Americans possess the resources to get a great deal of what they want, and part of what they want is sexual liberation. It’s not surprising, therefore, that the modern institution most closely associated with elite culture—higher education—should devote a great deal of energy to removing those who believe in moral limitations.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Dishonest in Relationships

Cheating is one of the most hurtful things someone can do to a relationship. It is disrespectful to the person with whom you have a relationship. It is a breach of trust which undermines the foundation of the relationship. It causes hurt, pain, resentment, and other feelings. Because of the devastating effect it can have, many people are unwilling to give their significant other a chance at maintaining the relationship. This is understandable. However, what can you do if someone you have a relationship with cheats, and you want to keep the relationship going? Consider the following:

1. Find out the reason. It can be difficult and hurtful to do this, but most of the time, cheating has nothing to do with you. Men may cheat because they are reaching middle age and feel a need to prove something to themselves, to show themselves they still have it. Women might cheat because their spouse works a lot and does not pay them as much attention, and so they turn to someone else to find fulfillment. There are numerous reasons for cheating, but if you want to work through it, you have to know what their reason is so that you can rectify the situation. If she cheats because she is feeling neglected, you will have to make bigger efforts not to neglect her, and she will have to make bigger efforts to communicate her needs to you. Whether you cheated, or were cheated on, knowing the reasons why will help you not make the same mistake again.

2. Re-build trust. Cheating is so devastating to relationships because it destroys the trust which tends to be the foundation of a relationship. It makes the spouse who was cheated on feel unimportant, and often they will resent the cheater for making them feel that way. So, if you want to work through a relationship where someone has cheated, you have to start with the little things to rebuild trust. This means being trust worthy, extending trust, following through, even if it is on something silly like picking up milk on the way home from work. Relationships without trust are doomed to failure, so if you have broken yours by cheating, or your spouse has, then start taking the steps to rebuild it, and be willing to do so, but not naive.

3. Be faithful. Cheating makes your spouse doubt their appeal, and feel as though they are not enough. If you are giving the relationship a go after cheating, then it is critical that you do what you can to help each other feel wanted, desirable, loved, etc. The spouse who was cheated on may not want to be intimate for a while, and this is understandable. As the cheater, you have to be careful not to push it, or guilt them into it, and while they adjust, be faithful, caring, and sensitive to their needs.

Make sure they know you desire them, but respect if they won't or can't be intimate yet. It takes trust, but that does not mean you should not try, and that can be the first step to helping them heal, as they need to know they are wanted still.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Sex and Infertility

It can seem like a cruel joke to spend the beginning of your sexually active years trying to have sex while avoiding pregnancy, only to find yourself ten years later trying to get pregnant, and discovering that it doesn’t happen. For most couples who are either dealing with confirmed infertility problems or who are worried that infertility may be a problem, the cruel joke is no laughing matter.

The impact of infertility on your sex life can be enormous. Sex that is timed and filled with anxiety about the outcome quickly becomes mechanical and forced. What was once an intense expression of love, desire, and commitment can feel like an obligation, an expectation -- and practically coercive. As confusion and emotions run high it can be difficult to figure out exactly why you’re so sad or angry or frustrated with your partner and/or yourself.

If you are trying to conceive and either know that infertility is an issue, or suspect that it is, there are a few things you can do to make the situation a little easier. In addition to some basic tips on keeping sex fun while trying to get pregnant, it’s also worth taking some time to think about how the infertility is affecting your sex life and talk with your partner (and/or a professional) about your concerns.

Infertility impacts our experience of gender.
Fertility is intimately linked to definitions of what it means to be a man and a woman in our society. Women are told that the most important identity they will ever have is that of “mother.” Men, on the other hand, are virile hunter-types, and while they are most valued for their ability to make money and get erections, they are also expected to penetrate and impregnate. As soon as you are associated with the idea of infertility, you become suspect as a man or woman, in part because you aren’t fitting into prescribed gender roles.

These expectations can feel like a huge burden, and no matter how hard you try, it’s unlikely you can eliminate the impact of these gender roles on how you feel about infertility. They also inform how we feel about sex, and how we have it. Talking with your partner and social supports about your feelings can help. Acknowledging that infertility doesn’t make you less of a man or woman is also an important step.

Infertility impacts our experience of sex.
Our society leads us to believe that sex means the same thing to all of us -- but nothing could be further from the truth. The only thing likely to be true for all of us is that sex is important, but beyond this, what sex means is as individual as we are.

Regardless of what sex means for you, if you are suddenly expected to have sex on demand, it can feel traumatic, and can, ironically, make you not want to have sex at all. One positive in the situation is that it provides an opportunity to talk with your partner about what sex does mean to you. This can open up new lines of communication and, in the end, even improve your sex life together.


Infertility gives us time to think.
Infertility is all about waiting. Depending on your situation, you may have scheduled procedures, blood tests, and other deadlines to meet, but in the end, it’s a game of wait and see. And waiting means having lots of time to think about things. If you are trying to conceive, the time between ovulations can feel like eternity, and if you are worried about infertility it’s easy to fill that time with all sorts of pessimistic fantasies. You can easily convince yourself that you will never conceive, or that even trying is a mistake.

We often forget that sex isn’t just about the plumbing, it encompasses our thoughts too. The impact of all that negative and anxious thinking on our sex lives can be significant, and it can affect more than just our mood, it can actually affect our body’s readiness to engage in intercourse.

Infertility brings too many people into our bedrooms.
Most of the time, sex is a relatively private act. While it occasionally can involve more than two people, it usually doesn’t include everyone in your social circle and certainly shouldn’t involve family members. But when you are dealing with infertility, and you start to talk to family and friends about it, your bedroom can quickly become very crowded.

The social pressure to get pregnant, combined with the knowledge that family and friends are worried for you, can put extra unneeded pressure on the two of you as you are trying to have sex. At the best of times it can be difficult for us to focus on the experience of sexual pleasure without letting the stress of our daily lives into the bedroom. When you are dealing with infertility, this struggle becomes exponentially more difficult as the worry is about the sex. Taking some time to leave family and friends at the bedroom door can go a long way to making the sex a bit less heavy.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Signs You’ll Never Get Along With Your Ex

If you’re thinking about being friends with your ex, think again. Really. Consider it. You had one thing, and that ended. Sometimes, the ending isn’t very pretty is it? In certain cases, people can leave the past behind, but all too often folks are tempted to be friendly with those whose heart they broke or vice versa. Whether the demise of your romantic relationship was mutual or abrupt, you’ve got to be clear on one thing. There are signs that suggest you may never get along, and you’ve got to heed them so you don’t head into yet another crash.

He’s Your EX. “Ex.” What does that mean to you? Does it mean “now”? Does it mean “for keeps”? Does it indicate that someone or something should be in your life? No. “Ex” is for “excommunicate,” and that’s what you should do with your ex. You didn’t get along. So get over it and get on with someone else. Anything else is too complicated.

He’s Still in Love with You. If you dumped the dude, and you’re no longer in love with him, but you have this vague, sneaking suspicion that he’s still got feelings for you, this sort of unspoken, subterranean sexual tension, even if it’s only a one-way street, will end up sabotaging you, your other relationships, and his ability to move on. If you let him go, it’s like an act of loving mercy. He may disagree.

You’re Still in Love with Him. If you hold a shred of hope that he’ll change, that he’ll decide that he really does want to get married, that one day he may find himself able to commit to you totally, you’re only prolonging your pain. How can you be “friends” with someone you secretly hope for more with? If he does change, he’ll come and find you, but don’t hold your breath.

The Two of You Never Really Got Along Anyway. It’s weird. To really be with someone totally, you have to be their best friend and their lover. But how many couples do you know where it’s all love, sex, and passion, and yet they can’t seem to communicate, connect, or get emotionally intimate with one another? If you couldn’t deal with each other as BFFs in your relationship, you’ll never make it as buddies when the sex is gone.

He Owes You Money. If you’re going to enter a different kind of relationship together, you’ve got to start with a clean state. If he owes you money, never did that thing for you that he swore he would, or in some other way has a debt that has yet to have been repaid to you, the muddle of your romantic relationship will carry over into whatever you have together afterward. Cut your losses and say adios.

One of You Cheated. Just forget it. I mean, really? Not a chance.

He’s a Jerk. It’s great that some awesome people can stay friends with their exes, but the fact of the matter is that sometimes someone did something crappy, and that’s why you broke up. Whatever he was like in the relationship is going to dictate how he is in this friendship of yours, and if he wasn’t a stand-up guy when you guys were together, you really can’t expect him to be a stand-up guy after you stop bumping uglies.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Love Birds Couple

Love has been denoted by many a gestures and objects since time immemorial. Something that has a direct or even a distant connotation with love was used to symbolize this feeling. Some of the representations which have been used for a long time are:

Symbolic representations of love:

  • Heart: In ancient times, many people believed that the heart was the source of all emotions. So when you talk about giving your heart to someone, it meant that you are completely giving away everything to him/her.
  • Cupid: the chubby mischievous winged boy was the son of the Roman Goddess of Love- Venus. According to myths, Cupid's love arrows would pierce the heart of his young men and women
  • Roses: Roses are indisputably the most popular flowers among lovers around the world when it comes to conveying emotions of love. They were supposedly the favorite flowers of Venus who is the Roman goddess of love
  • Ribbons, Lace and Frills: These have long been used to represent romance; Knights would present lace and other finery to their ladylove before riding to battle
  • Love knots: love knots have a sequence of zigzag and intertwining loops with no beginning or end. They are supposed to symbolize everlasting love,
  • Wooden Spoons: Wooden love spoons were given as gifts on lover's day with engraved images of hearts, keys, and keyholes.
  • "X" sign: The "X" sign represents a kiss. This tradition has its origins in the practice during the medieval ages, wherein illiterate people would sign documents with an X sign and kiss on it
  • Lovebirds/ Turtle Doves: It is an ancient belief that birds found their mates on this romantic day, so people felt that birds made great gifts on this day. Lovebirds are colorful little birds that sit closely together in pairs - as sweethearts do. And it is commonly believed that these birds cannot live without their mates. Doves are symbols of fidelity and love, because they mate and pair up for life. Love birds

Generally if you see a couple on the roadside or in some park holding hands of each other or kissing, the first comment we make is "they are love birds". But do you know what are the actual lovebirds are? A lovebird is a type of parrot. It got this name for its very sociable and affectionate nature. When a lovebird bonds with its mate, their bonding usually lasts their entire life. So, though you can have one it's always best to keep the lovebirds in pairs.

A lovebird will be normally short and stocky. It is one of the smallest parrots in the world. Generally many lovebirds are green in color. But they also come in many colors. They are basically unknown until the 1600s. Some Europeans who toured Africa saw them and wrote about them. The first lovebirds were imported into Europe in 19th century. By the 20th century lovebirds became more popular in both Europe and US.

Lovebird can be found in Africa and Madagascar. They are very popular pets. The lovebirds are generally tame and so probably adapt to their new environment easily. Pet owners have to ensure that they want lovebirds as their pets. But if you want only one bird, you have to pay it a lot of attention and interaction. Because of this only they are usually kept in pairs, so they can give each other a happy company. Like human beings lovebirds also don't get along sometimes. So be sure that your birds are compatible with each other. Otherwise they may fight with each other.

Any way, the fact is that a lovebird is one that can easily adapt to domestication much easier than any other creature from foreign countries. They can be great pets, if they are given proper care and attention. It's because of their social ability or chirping, they are the most desirable pets. Everyone loves having lovebirds at their homes and show off to their neighbors. You also want to own them.